Ladies, let’s talk about love and relationships. I’m about ready to save you $$$ from therapy.
“Relationships are so difficult!” everyone usually says. That, however, is not the case. It’s not the relationships themselves that are problematic; rather, it’s the people in the relationships that MAKE them difficult.
There’s no manual to many things, especially in love and relationships. What works for couple A is different from B, and this has been the case time and time again. I mean, sure, movies can sometimes be good case study examples, but movies only last a couple of hours. I don’t know about you, but I would like for my relationships to last just a tad bit longer. Nonetheless, ladies, we can all agree it’s better to learn from other experiences. Still, there are some holy grails regarding love, relationships, and marriage. This is why I’ve researched, and am here to give you some of the best relationship advice.
Yes, it’s not a one-way street, and giving advice to ladies in a relationship can sometimes be a sensitive feat. Some advice may even seem like a direct attack, but queens, it’s high time we take accountability and put effort to move forward, especially when we know the ball is in our court. See me as your favorite aunty giving you the tea – the advice you really need. Excited? Hope you are. Take a look at some of these relationship tips, and choose the one(s) best for you.
Best relationship advice on love and relationships
Always remember, it takes two to tango. It can never be all about you. To put it another way, you can improve your relationship by doing two things:
- Self-examination
- Partner examination
Many people, you see, are lazy. They believe that partnerships should work like a well-oiled machine by themselves. That’s not how it works.
Relationships need effort, but if you are proactive about what to do, your relationships can be healthy and pleasant. No one can wave a magic wand over your relationship and turn it into a fairy tale, BUT we can give you some of the #goods. Try the following #goods below:
STUDY YOUR MAN’S MOOD
Due to the dramatic nature of women, they tend to just wanna have all the attention their man can give them. You could be complaining to your man about a simple bad hair day or it could be wanting to express a shitty experience you had with work, all while he is busy thinking of other things. If you figure out he wasn’t listening to you the whole time, rather than capitalizing on that fact, and getting overly frustrated, try and find out what could have gotten him so lost in his thoughts. For what it’s worth, he could be facing a crisis, and you getting upset about him not paying attention to you will not help the matter. Sometimes, it’s not about you, and sometimes you two have to work together to get through your personal stuff!
The goal is to ensure you are communicating with your man in a way that he will understand.
LEARN TO BE PATIENT
Men can be described using the oxymoron “strong pillows.” Get it? You see, men are trained to be hardcore kind of people. I mean, even societal standards portray men to be this embodiment of masculinity. They are not supposed to be touchy-feely nor show their feelings, but they are to dominate sports activities and be the provider, no matter their struggle. Women have it tough too, don’t get me wrong, BUT this is not about you. The masculinity guidelines book causes a whirlwind of issues with men wanting to be soft sometimes. You can be strong and soft at the same time, btw. You see, although dealing with a man can be taxing, especially when you are attempting to find out what is going on in his head, there is depth that you may just have to pull on out – sweetly.
If you are determined that you want your relationship to work, learn to be patient with your man. Especially if the relationship is new. Patience is a virtue, and time is an unprescribed medicine.
HAVE YOUR MAN’S BACK
No brainer. Always support your man, especially in the presence of third parties. Having disagreements in the relationship is inevitable. You can’t avoid it even if you pay to. Take, for instance, you and your man are hanging out with a couple of other friends, and a disagreement breaks out. There’s a high chance you both are on opposite sides, and that is entirely natural. Table your points, make your claims and reach a point of agreeing to disagree and let it end there.
Do not let things get too personal, and if it does at the expense of your man, take a switcheroo and be your man’s shield, sweetheart. Feel free to battle it out with him once you guys are home alone, but do not let any third party talk down on your man, not on your watch. The norm is for the man to protect the woman. But trust me, nothing sweeps a man off his feet than seeing his woman standing up for him in public.
LITTLE OR NO NAGGING
Preferably no nagging. No one wants to be with someone who does nothing but complain about everything and anything. Let alone someone meant to be a life partner. No one deserves or needs such negativity around them, majorly for health reasons even. Try to be more of a guide. Speak to him without the nagging tone. Let him know what you prefer and why. Once again, clear communication goes a long way.
TRUST
This could be asking for a lot, especially for victims of various kinds of assaults and bad luck with relationships. Once you find that special someone, “the one,” try and develop a trust bond there. Especially if the person has not given you any reason to not trust him. Do not use bad past experiences to turn the gold mine in your possession into a bag of ashes. Not only will trust help your relationship with your partner thrive, but it also reduces stress mentally and improves your mental health immensely. Although a healthy amount of jealousy shouldn’t be too bad now, should it. *wink* Just keep in mind, your past experiences don’t have to be your present. The last man isn’t the current man, and the last man is gone for a reason. Let your new boo show you all that he has to offer before you start thinking your love life is just a broken record on repeat!
LEND A LISTENING EAR
Men are not the most expressive persons one can meet in a lifetime. Most men have been trained to be stiff and rigid and to be less sensitive than their female counterparts. The truth is though, once you get your man to actually open up and conversate with you, that is like winning bonus points in any game. Not only should you get your man talking, but you should also be able to lend a full listening ear. We all know, hearing and listening are two different things. Make him feel heard, and watch him stick by you. Be excited to listen about his day. His frustrations. The good or the bad. If he is eager to speak about his interests like sports or work or whatever it may be, just listen. You never know, you may eventually become intrigued and interested.
BE RESPECTFUL, BE FEMININE
I know, I know, this ain’t meant to be easy.. Hear me out. Imagine trying to put up with someone always ready to battle. Some of us have to put our guard up on a daily basis, and your on/off switch has to be strategic. Take this into consideration. Be sensitive. Men have egos, and most times, the will to put up with nonsense (women, I know you feel this too) is not on their to-do list.
You may lose that good man if you don’t give him peace; hell you will lose a friend if you aren’t their peace. The world is harsh enough, why not be the place to settle, laugh and enjoy the world of life with. It’s all about being available and respectful. Not to mention, offer up what you want in return. You’d be surprised how easy it is to have him wrapped around you. Not saying you should change. Just adjust.
Bob Marley once said, “Truth one is everyone is gonna hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.” And this is nothing but the truth. It happens in all phases of life. Love, relationships, and marriage all need effort, patience, and time. Be accountable, queens, and you’d see it isn’t about how hard or difficult it is, it is more about the reality you create when you allow the best of you to come forth. Choose your partner every day.
By the way – there’s no, if they loved me, they’d put up with me. That’s torture, and that isn’t fair. Fairness rules out for the long term. If you need more relationship advice, feel free to check back any time. It only takes one step in the right direction, and you got it queens.
Hope you enjoyed the read. Cheers!
Author-Bio:
Leader Nwabekeh is a freelance content/creative writer. She is currently pursuing a law degree. She aspires to see the world through writing and help others see the world through her words.
