Knowing when to let go of a relationship is confusing, and the decision to leave can be even more difficult to take, especially when loved ones are involved. Irregardless of the pain that may be initiated, it is essential to understand that letting go is often necessary for our well-being and happiness, and for the other party as well, especially when the love has turned sour.
Statistics have consistently shown that many people endure unhappiness because they are reluctant to let go. Factors like the fear of loneliness or heavy emotional investment can make the decision to walk away even more daunting.
If you find yourself experiencing any of the signs listed below, it might be time to move on peacefully and let go:
1. When You Are Disrespected and Abused:
Healthy relationships should never involve any form of abuse or blantant disrespect. Your partner should be a haven, someone you run to rather than from.
If your partner hurts you physically, verbally, or emotionally, and you’re not treated with the respect you deserve, it’s time to move on immediately. Remaining in such a relationship will only enable the abuser to continue.
2. When There Is Constant Criticism:
If you feel compelled to pretend to be someone you’re not out of fear of judgment, ridicule, or abuse from your partner, it’s a clear sign that you need to let the relationship go. Effective communication, sharing thoughts and plans, and being authentic should be integral to a healthy relationship.
If your partner constantly belittles you with derogatory comments, it’s a clear sign that you are not being appreciated. Whether the criticism targets your appearance, behavior, opinions, or beliefs, being with a partner who values and sees the good in you, instead, is essential. Mistakes should be addressed with love and kindness.
3. When You are Living in Fear in the Relationship:
If you feel like you’re walking on eggshells around your partner, this is a conspicuous red flag. Constantly second-guessing your words and actions because you fear your partner’s intimidation is a sign that you should free yourself from this relationship.
If nervousness and worry dominate your interactions because you’re afraid of upsetting your partner or facing embarrassment, it’s time to take action, and be guided toward a life you deserve. Know – you should have all the goodness you desire!
4. When the Relationship Has Lost Its Spark:
When the initial excitement fades and the relationship becomes dull and uninspiring, sure, it may be futile to rekindle what’s been lost. But staying in a relationship characterized by boredom and lifelessness might prompt your partner to seek emotional fulfillment elsewhere, or you for that matter.
If you find yourself merely “tolerating” or “going along” with the relationship, it’s essential to pause and reflect. While relationships naturally have their ups and downs, periods of happiness should outweigh the lows by a significant margin.
In relationships, time doesn’t always heal; sometimes, the best decision is to move on after giving it a fair chance for improvement.
5. When You are Always Drained of Energy:
A fulfilling relationship should bring warmth, energy, and positivity into your life.
If being with your partner feels like a chore, punishment, or obligation, and you constantly need “a break” or feel suffocated, this is a glaring sign that you’re not with the right person. Something is amiss when you no longer look forward to seeing your partner.
6. When There is Too Much Compromise From Your End:
A healthy relationship requires effort from both partners.
If you find yourself doing all the work to maintain and nurture the relationship, take heed to the strong indicator that it’s time to let go.
An imbalance in effort can lead to weariness, frustration, and resentment, especially if your partner fails to acknowledge your contributions.
7. When Your Loved Ones Don’t Fully Support Your relationship:
If your friends and family do not support your relationship and express concerns, this could be a warning sign.
You are in control of your relationship status, but Ignoring your loved ones valid concerns, lying to them, or making excuses for your partner’s behavior is deceiving yourself.
A relationship that causes you to isolate yourself from your loved ones may not be worth sacrificing for in the end.
8. When You’re Always Making Excuses for Their Bad Behavior:
When you catch yourself constantly making excuses for your partner’s unacceptable behavior, it’s time to confront the reality that you need to let go.
Justifying their actions to friends and family and explaining away neglect or mistreatment are clear signals that it’s time to gather your courage and move on.
9. When You Have Misaligned Goals:
When your life goals and aspirations clash with your partner’s, friction is inevitable. Offering mutual support becomes challenging, and instead of growing together, you’ll drift apart as you pursue separate paths. In such cases, leaving the relationship is best, as you may compromise without appreciation for your efforts.
Please take note that every goal doesn’t have to align. You both don’t have to want the exact same things, BUT compromise will be imperative as you decide your path forward.
In any case, a supportive partner should aid and expedite your personal growth and pursuit of goals. They should never stand as an obstacle to your progress. If you find your relationship impeding your professional, academic, or personal growth, this might be a sign of incompatibility.
10. When Your Needs Are Met by Another:
Whoo! Testy waters, ya’ll, but something to be considered. When the person you turn to for emotional support or companionship is not your partner but someone else, it’s a sign that something is amiss in your relationship.
Your partner cannot be everything for you, but supportive and a listening ear when needed is a fair expectation.
If your partner consistently fails to meet your emotional needs, such as quality time, it’s essential to communicate your feelings to them. If no effort is made to address these needs, it’s best to consider moving on. Relying on colleagues or friends or a side person not in your relationship to fulfill needs your partner should meet clearly indicates that it’s time to reasses the relationship.
11. When There Is Consistent Dishonesty and Disloyalty:
While some relationships can survive occasional instances of dishonesty and disloyalty, with the help of counseling, consistent and repeated occurrences indicate deeper problems. Regardless of the reasons behind these actions, it is often wisest to let go. Persistent dishonesty and disloyalty, even when addressed, can erode the foundation of trust in a relationship. That leads to a lackluster feeling for everyone involved.
6 Steps to help you move peacefully from a toxic relationship.
Leaving a toxic relationship can seem so hard especially when there are so many emotions, time, and resources invested. Although it is possible to turn things around (which must involve effort from both partners), you must note that not all toxic relationships can be saved. Here are some steps to help you leave toxic relationships peacefully.
1. Build a support system:
You must build a system of friends and family that you can lean on after making the tough decision, and taking action to move on. The truth is, our minds and bodies have been wired to be dependent on things we are familiar with. Hence, having a support system will make the transition easier and relieve you of some of the distress that comes thereafter. It’s important you don’t feel alone during this time.
2. Stand firm in your decision:
Once you notice toxicity in your relationship, make up your mind to leave and be firm in your decision. Even though a toxic partner promises to change, the shock of a possible separation may be the culprit, but not always enough for them to make much needed and required adjustments to their behavior.
Best believe, it is more common that not for toxicity to continue if you determine getting back together as an option. As tough as it is, when you decide to leave, don’t go back. Grab your support system, communicate with friends and family and allow yourself room to ask for help and be supported.
Know – greatness is in store for you!
3. Practice the no-contact rule:
Once you’re able to leave a toxic relationship, cut off all contact with your ex. Staying in touch will give room for you to get back together. Toxic people are excellent at emotional blackmail and manipulation which can lure you back in.
Unfollow on every social media platform and ensure you don’t run into each other. Doing so will help to eliminate every thought and image of them, and give you the ability to start fresh. When it comes to dating again, give yourself grace. Reconnect with self. And give yourself ample time to heal and determine what it is that you want and need in your next relationship.
4. Have plans in place:
If you have to leave a toxic relationship successfully, ensure you have a detailed plan on how you will deal with the transition. Think accommodations, transportation, finances, friend and family groups, and parenting into consideration.
As petty as this may sound, it’s true — make clear plans on which possession you will take, or feel empowered to leave everything behind and truly begin anew. YOU CAN DO IT!
5. Express your feelings:
This is more for you than them, and no matter their response, the point here is for you to release. Be comfortable with expressing your feelings well before leaving.
If your partner is emotionally intelligent, you can express your feelings face-to-face.
But if they are short-tempered, you can express yourself through writing a letter or note instead. There is also an option to simply write a letter in your journal to release your emotions and begin the steps to healing for SELF.
No matter your choice of release method, make sure to avoid the blame game, know that you cannot control the outcome, and be okay with not getting exactly what you may need to move on. BUT releasing will be the first step – promise!
6. Seek Professional Help from a Therapist:
Depending on the level of toxicity, leaving some toxic relationships might require a solid game plan.
A good therapist will help you create one, cope, rebuild your esteem, and address possible issues. A therapist will also hold you accountable for your decisions and ensure you stick to them.
Asking and seeking help is the power that will take you across the threshold to become exactly what you want and deserve in your life. Professional help offers tools to get you there.
Finally
The most crucial relationship to preserve is the one you have with yourself. It is essential to distance yourself from anyone or anything that diminishes your self-worth. Letting go is undeniably challenging, but this article has provided clear and incontrovertible signs to help you recognize when it’s time to move on. Remember that moving on from one relationship doesn’t mean you need to avoid love forever. Instead, use the lessons learned to foster growth in future relationships.
Take the quality relationship masterclass to become a better leader, colleague, and person in all of your relationships. Also, don’t forget to follow Tamika on Instagram for relationships, life, and love!
