Breakups are hard. We can’t even lie. The truth is though, no matter what, sometimes, a breakup is inevitable when there are no more breakups to makup moments to be had lol! A breakup can be caused by many different things ranging from differences in opinions or values, cheating, or simply falling out of love. When relationships face difficulties, some couples choose to let the love or lack thereof go and end the relationship in it’s entirety. Whatever the reason may be, it’s all about the vibe! Although breaking up is often seen as a negative experience, it doesn’t have to be. Take it in stride. Make sure to go through your emotions, recognize the pain, and discover the next phase – hot girl or hot boy summer, anyone? I digress
Breakups can be difficult and painful, but they don’t have to be the end of the world. In fact, a breakup can be a new beginning. It can be an opportunity for both healing, and growth, leading you to a wild discovery of goodness beyond your ex. Byeeee.
The humor is here to stay, but in all seriousness, we all know breakups are sometimes not so easy, and definitely not so humorous. They’re often messy, heartbreaking, and the emotional turmoil that is leftover can often make you feel broken and lost. But please know, it is possible to turn your breakup into something fruitful. With the right mindset and some effort, you can emerge from your breakup stronger and wiser, with a renewed sense of who you are and what you want in life.
How to Move On From a Broken Relationship – 10 Ways of Healing and Moving On
So how can you turn your breakup into a new beginning? First, you need to accept that the relationship is over. This can be difficult, but it’s important to remember that what happened, happened, and this is your time to come out on the other side. Like Beyonce said, the best revenge is your paper, so once you’ve come to terms with the end of the relationship, there are a few things you can do to make sure you’re moving in the right direction – to the paper, and to more of your best life. The following steps can help you get started on the road to recovery and find success in the future.
1. Give Yourself Time to Grieve
It’s important to allow yourself time to grieve after a breakup. It’s okay to cry, scream, or do whatever you need to do to release your emotions. Chop it up with your friends. Express your frustrations, sometimes, even talking a little mess about your previous partner may help a bit, but don’t get too lost in the negative. It’s time to be positive Patty – you hear me! Don’t wallow in your sadness for too long. We have things to do! People to meet and time to spend with yourself!
It’s all about allowing yourself time to heal and eventually, you’ll start to feel better.
Give yourself permission to feel the hurt and pain that comes with any loss, and know the stages of grief so you can get through each one in the flawless, and imperfect way that is needed. Just for you. The 5 stages are:
- Denial
- Anger
- Bargaining
- Depression
- Acceptance
You will cycle through these stages as you come to terms with your breakup. Allow yourself to feel each emotion and don’t try to push through too quickly.
Don’t try to bottle up your emotions either or pretend like everything is okay when it’s not. Acknowledge how you’re feeling, and give yourself time to work through each phase, it will be worth it to experience it all. Promise. You will be exceptionally proud of yourself afterward.
2. Lean on Your Support System
One of the best things you can do after a breakup is to lean on your support system. This might include friends, family, or even a therapist. Let them know truly, and not for fake, exactly what you’re going through, and allow them to help you. These are the people who love and care about you, and they will be more than happy to help you through this tough time.
Don’t be afraid to lean on them for emotional support. These people can offer you a shoulder to cry on when you need it, and they can help you see things from a different perspective when you’re feeling lost.
3. Take Some Time for Yourself
A breakup is also a good opportunity to take some time for yourself to focus on your own happiness. This might mean taking a break from dating, or it might mean focusing on your own hobbies and interests. Do things that make you happy, and don’t worry about what other people think. Go see that movie you want to see by yourself. Check out that restaurant you want to try out, alone. Go shopping by yourself. Travel by yourself. Just know you are not lonely, you are alone, and there is a difference. When you are comfortable being with just yourself something miraculous happens.
It’s important to take some time to really learn from your past relationship – what worked and what didn’t? What did you do that you’re proud of, and what would you do differently next time? I hope you already know you don’t need someone else to be happy and that you’re capable of finding joy in life on your own. A partner is meant to add value and be a grand addition to the greatness that you already are – you feel me?!
4. Learn from Your Mistakes
Breakups have the capacity to teach us a lot about ourselves. Take some time to reflect on what mistakes you made. It takes two to tango friend, so how can you make adjustments for your future relationship so you don’t replicate what happened in the last.
5. Focus on Your Future
Let the past be that, the past. It was great while it lasted…or not. But we are moving onward to reach new heights meant for us, right? After a breakup, it’s easy to get caught up in what went wrong. But, instead of dwelling on the past; focus on your future goals. Dwelling on the old will only make it harder to move on. Once you’re ready, take some time to focus on yourself and your future. When you are looking for some guidance, maybe take a personality quiz like Meyer’s Briggs, get a natal chart done, or even visit a psychic if you are so inclined.
Begin to visualize yourself happy and healthy, without your ex in the picture. This will help you let go of any residual feelings and start fresh. A break-up can be a chance to learn and grow as a person, and to start fresh with a clean slate. Embrace this opportunity and use it to better yourself and your future relationships. Allow the universe to open up to new opportunities for you. Get it? Got it? Check. Thanks!
6. Set Some Goals for Yourself
A breakup can be a good time to set some goals for you. What do you want to achieve in the next year? What kind of person do you want to be? What do you want to change about yourself? Where do you want to go? What do you want to read? Write down your goals. Read something inspiring. Spend some time getting to know you again and get to it.
Sometimes, a breakup may cause you to no longer believe in yourself or even trust your judgment anymore. Make an effort to trust yourself again, because I know for sure you can rely on you, no matter what!
7. Be Patient
Recovery from a breakup takes time, so be patient with yourself. There are no quick fixes, and there’s no magic formula for moving on. It’s important to go at your own pace and allow yourself the time you need to heal, and don’t just hop into another relationship just because. Your next relationship should be a conscious choice made with certainty, not out of desperation or even depression.
8. Don’t Rush into Anything New
Although mentioned above, this deserves its own number. Just because you’re ready to move on, doesn’t mean you should immediately jump into another relationship. Don’t rush into anything new. Just because one relationship didn’t work out doesn’t mean you should give up on love altogether, sure, but that doesn’t mean you need to be in a relationship in a hot minute. Just wait…a bit.
Take things slowly and make sure you’re really ready for all that a new partnership and relationship will entail. I’m a strong supporter of experiencing variety. That way, you know exactly what you want and DO NOT want. So date, have fun, but don’t commit just because you can. When you do decide to make that commitment, it should be right, because you are the bomb, and you most definitely deserve the best!
9. Focus on the Positive
It’s easy to dwell on the negative after a breakup, but it’s important to focus on the positive as well. What are the things that you’re grateful for? What are the things that make you happy?
Remember that there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. Every relationship has its ups and downs (no lies told) so don’t expect things to be perfect 100% of the time. It’s about the percentage of good times, and when things get bad, how is it handled? Either way, it’s your time to focus on all the good that is in your life now and recognize that the good that occurred in your previous relationship can happen again, and it can be even better.
10. Seek Professional Help If Needed
If you’re finding it difficult to cope with your breakup, it is ok to want an outsider’s perspective. It is ok to feel vulnerable and to seek professional help. A therapist can provide valuable tools and resources to help you deal with your emotions and help you to make the necessary steps to start moving on with your life.
How to Use Your Break Up As Motivation
Just in case you are wanting to gain some motivation and momentum post-breakup, as always, we are here for you! Although it can be tough to see the light at the end of the tunnel, it is there. Just keep going. If you view your split as an opportunity for growth, and a chance to meet your next best match, you will begin a new and amazing chapter in your life. Here’s how to use your breakup as much needed motivation:
- Use the pain as fuel – Getting over a breakup is hard, but channeling that pain into positive motivation can help you become a better version of yourself. Use the hurt as fuel to work harder, be more successful, and achieve your goals.
- Let go of the past – One of the best things about starting fresh is that you get to leave the past behind. Don’t dwell on what went wrong in your old relationship – focus on creating a bright future for yourself.
- Make new friends – Your break-up is an opportunity to start fresh in all areas of your life, including your social circle. Take this chance to meet new people and expand your horizons.
- Travel and explore – If you’re feeling lost after your breakup, take some time to explore the world around you. Travel to new places, try new things and experience more that life has to offer.
- Be grateful for the good times – Even though your relationship is over, be grateful for the good times you shared together. Cherish the memories of what made your relationship special and let them inspire you to create even more beautiful memories in the future.
- Forgive and move on – Forgiving your ex (and yourself), is an important part of moving on from the relationship. Holding onto anger and resentment will only hold you back – let go of the negativity so you can start fresh.
- Believe in yourself – One of the best things about starting over is that you get to believe in yourself again. Rediscover your strengths and build up your confidence so you can tackle anything that comes your way.
By following these tips, you can use your breakup as motivation to create an even better life for yourself. Embrace the change and growth that comes with a breakup – it’s an opportunity to start anew and create something even more beautiful than before.
Visit Couples Experience CE Circle to get more relationship tips and advice. Be sure to follow us on social media for the latest updates on inclusive relationship advice, and upcoming couples retreats or couples events in your city!
