A remarkable number of us like to take pride in calling ourselves ‘givers,’ but somehow the very idea that we must ‘sacrifice in marriage’ has many couples shaking in their boots. Sacrifice in marriage might sound to be a dramatic concept for a few couples. For many people, sacrifice in a relationship means entirely, unequivocally giving up what one wants to do so that their partner gets to do what they want to do. Sounds scary!
But before we have a bull session on the satisfaction you derive from living the single life – let’s look at the value of sacrifice in marriage.
What does ‘sacrifice in marriage’ denote?
Sacrifice in marriage doesn’t mean giving away your life to your partner. Keep in mind, you can learn and grow in many ways from putting your partner’s needs on the same level as your own. The goal is to have the willingness to sacrifice in your marriage, and when you do, it shows a deep level of care, love, and commitment towards your partner.
Why do people make sacrifices?
Have you ever thought about the times you have dropped other plans to be there for a friend? This, my friends, is sacrifice. Going to your sister’s school play instead of going to the concert of your favorite artist is another example of sacrificing your happiness for the sake of your loved one. These little gestures mean a lot to those you support; and because of these gestures and sacrifices, your loved ones, feel a sense of being loved and cared for. The sacrifices you make for your partner can build intimacy and trust to an intense level, so there is value in making sacrifices. The sacrifices you make in your marriage do not need to be huge gestures; the little things matter too. It’s more about trying to make your loved one’s life a bit easier, and maybe even take some time to learn their Love Language.
The value of making sacrifices in your marriage
Now that we have explained the importance of making sacrifices for your partner, let’s look at some areas that we believe could be great sacrifices to be made if you want a successful marriage.
The first is time. We as humans have limited time to spend on earth. It just means that we must be highly conscious of how we spend those precious hours. Sacrifice in marriage means giving up some of your own time. Without a doubt, we all know, everyone needs their alone time for self-reflection and any other personal activity, but there is value in that sacrifice. It would help if you were flexible and not rigid with the time you make out for your partner. Rest assured; your partner will always appreciate you for making some sacrifices for them.
Secondly, the inner desire to be right about everything has to go. If you can make this sacrifice, you are ensuring happiness in your marriage. Your marriage is not a competitive battlefield; sometimes, it’s best to calm down and listen without immediately jumping into the war front with rebuttals or contrary opinions. In marriage, you need to learn that it’s not always about being ‘right.’ Most of the time, it is about being available and accepting that love requires compromise, most of the time.
The next one is a big one. Let’s set the scene: After a difficult day at work, you get home exhausted, and your partner is still out running some errands. Your partner sends you a text about how they are famished and have had a terrible day. What do you do? Do you order food? Or do you gather up some energy and think, “The person I love the most on the planet is hungry and in a terrible mood, and I know how much they love my cooking. If I prepare something good tonight, it’s going to make them feel loved, and less stressed.” Do you see the energy sacrifice you have made? Imagine you are the stressed partner for a second. You come back home and see your beloved, despite having a terrible day, has prepared something for you to quench the fire in your stomach. Now, how do you feel? You probably can’t express that feeling in words because it is one of the most beautiful sacrifices your significant other could make for you.
Would making sacrifices give you a happy ending?
As tempting as it is to make sacrifices for your married partner, it has many pitfalls as well, if done incorrectly, or with expectations. We would address the two most important ones below.
First, sacrifices made are usually in secret. Instead of a couple being candid with each other about how their acts of self-denial are adversely affecting them, they give off the impression that the sacrifice posed no form of discomfort or loss to them. If that statement were to be considered accurate, it would not be a sacrifice because sacrifices require some form of loss.
The second reason is that it can set a precedent that paves the way for unrealistic expectations. A quick example is where a husband decides to have sex on a special occasion the way his wife likes it, but it’s unsatisfactory for him; his sacrifice can come back to haunt him. By giving her the impression that he enjoyed the sex, sooner or later, she’ll keep asking him to do it the same way, and if he does try to meet his own expectations, he might ultimately end up dreading the very thought of sex.
Try making joint sacrifices with your partner
In a mutually caring relationship like marriage, sacrificing does not make much sense if you and your partner care about each other. Why should I expect my spouse to suffer for me to be happy at their loss? This does not mean the idea of ‘sacrifice’ is wrong. There is a place for sacrifice in marriage; this should be in ‘joint sacrifice‘ to accomplish a mutual value goal. However, joint sacrifice requires honesty and openness between partners. Both partners are usually aware of what they need to do. Since this kind of sacrifice is mutually agreed to by both partners and requires joint effort, there is no need for the expectation of reciprocity.
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If you decide to sacrifice your emotional needs, such as being separated to develop your career or education, you might be sacrificing the very fabric of your marriage. This may be determined as a sacrifice not worth making. You should consider what the consequences or ramifications may be as you determine sacrifices to be made.
Author Bio:
Raji Oluwaniyi is a freelance writer who has successfully helped several organizations to pen down articles covering a wide range of topics. He is a hard worker and strives to produce his best every time he is assigned a task.
