The way we communicate and receive love and affection when in a relationship is different for every single one of us. Just take our specific, multi-faceted personalities, and combine that with our past experiences and other variables, such as ‘the day we’ve had,’ and it’s easy to understand how love can sometimes get lost in translation. That is why understanding your and your partner’s specific and dominant love languages is the best method of finding common ground and communicating your needs, be they emotional or sexual.
When you follow the wisdom of love languages, everything is based on that individual. So, for instance, while you may love a hug or kiss goodbye every morning, your partner may need some quality time together to show you care. The ultimate goal, however, is to grasp your significant other’s needs and then try to cater to those needs as best as you can. One thing’s for sure, though – everyone responds quite well to respect, acknowledgment, and reciprocity.
Here are some ways to make your romantic partner feel wanted:
Make them laugh
Laughing is, as we all know, good for the soul. Thanks to science, we now know that sharing giggles with a significant other is key to keeping the lovey-dovey feelings going. So, tell your partner a funny story or a joke. Knowing their sense of humor and making a point to appeal to it truly does say a lot, and it bonds you closer together. Let’s be real…life will get tough at some point, but having someone to laugh with will make a world of difference.
React to their little victories
Sympathetic joy is something that characterizes all great relationships. It means that one partner takes delight in the other partner’s well-being, shares their positive feelings, and looks upon them favorably. Has your partner made some amazing art with the kids? Finished a hard read? Taken up a hobby they’ve always wanted to try? Managed to remain calm during a conflict? Done a job well done with work? It’s important to acknowledge and compliment their accomplishments. No, you don’t have to overdo it. Just some sincere enthusiasm and excitement will do.
Communicate
All relationships have their ups and downs. However, fostering a healthy communication style makes dealing with any issues that arise significantly easier. So, talk your problems through with your partner openly and clearly instead of getting super angry or annoyed. Bring up any issues or concerns as soon as they arise, and sit down for discussions. It’s important not to let things bottle up. Although many people struggle with healthily communicating their feelings, finding an online therapy provider and speaking to the right person can help you achieve effective, healthy communication.
Finally, even small talk is important, so take a few moments to be present with your significant other. You can ask them about how their day went, how they are feeling, and even chit-chat about mundane, trivial things like the weather or the news!
Be a good listener
If your partner is talking about something they’re super passionate about, show genuine attention and interest. Better yet, encourage them to talk about their interests and passions. When your partner realizes that you want to be a part of what they love will be unbelievably validating, and validation is a major part of creating emotional safety and intimacy. On the other hand, if they’re venting about something that’s bothering them, it’s important to practice active listening. You don’t always need to offer solutions. You can just listen and validate. Giving your undivided attention is, without exaggeration, one of the sexiest and most appreciated things you can do.
Give your partner compliments
What do you like about your partner? Is it their intellect? Sense of humor? Patience? Be sure to tell them that, and be specific about it. Complimenting your partner about their looks is perfectly fine, but make sure you throw in a couple of things you love about their personality. Random compliments are about making it known that you notice and appreciate everything great about them.
Flirt with them
Despite the fact that you’ve been dating for a while or even married, there is no reason you shouldn’t still flirt with each other. Make lingering eye contact across the room. Touch them softly when they’re speaking. Tell them how sexy they look. Smack their butt while walking 🙂 Anything to let them know they still got it and you still want it. You can even have some fun sexting – it’s a fantastic break from the string of normal “I’ll pick up the kids today” or “What’s for dinner, “ or “Grab more diapers on your way home, please.” Flirting with your romantic partner is a great way to keep that spark alive and make your partner feel wanted.
Touch your partner throughout the day
Little touches and romantic gestures, such as patting your partner on their arm, holding their hand, rubbing their neck while watching TV, or touching their lower back, might seem trivial, but they truly go a long way when it comes to making your loved one feel special. It’s really as simple as giving them a 10-second hug, which is enough time for your body to release the feel-good hormone.
Make out
There are lots of reasons why, as the relationship lasts, kissing may become less frequent and even non-existent. Life is hectic; you don’t have time, your relationship matures, and the way you show affection changes. But wouldn’t it be wonderful to remind yourselves of the earlier days and how much you looked forward to that burning flame of locking lips, that electrifying moment of feeling your heart speed racing? Not to mention that the experience triggers the feel-good chemicals that will make you feel more attracted to and connected to your loved one.
Make plans
We know – you’re doubtful. There’s all that talk about restoring romance and intimacy by recapturing that feel of the early days. But with your jobs putting you on different schedules, house chores, kids, and everything, who has the time? We hear you. However, taking the necessary time to tend to the relationship can actually relieve, and not add, more stress to your daily life. So, plan a date night. A dinner. A weekend getaway a few months down the road. Pull out all the stops. Wear that shirt they like. Do whatever you can to make them feel worthy of special treatment.
Say thank you’s, and I love you’s
Grandiose declarations and elaborate gestures are fantastic ways to make your partner feel wanted. But love is also in those little things like saying “Thank you” and “I love you.” And getting specific about it makes it that much better. Show true appreciation by explicitly saying that you noticed that little thing they did for you this morning and that you are grateful for it. Genuinely express how much you love your partner for something that they do or are, be that their personality, kindness, or intelligence. It’s truly that simple.
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