Scientists have made a fascinating discovery. You’re drawn to someone who has a different immune system than you. So what does this mean when you are dating? When you are in the midst of the dating scene going through the frogs and wackness, will your prospect’s immune system be one of the tell-tale signals that he could be the real deal?
I’ve seen the complaints. I’ve heard the horror stories. We’ve seen Dababy act up on IG Live. It’s official, we can all agree that finding an honorable guy is beyond challenging. Dating life is no longer lit. It is time-consuming. Frustrating. Your fingers are tirelessly swiping and texting, and still after all the effort, sometimes we still end up in relationships that aren’t suitable for us.
When we look back, it’s easy to see a similar pattern in the men we’ve dated. Let’s admit, we saw the red flags, we ignored the advice, we got hypnotized by the physical, and through it all, we know we should have left, but we stayed. So, on the real, I’m going to address you like you are my bestie. You may not want to hear the truth, but I’m here to share, how do you know you’re dating the ideal person? How do you know when he is the one?
Relationship experts agree on these five basic questions to ask yourself to tell if he is right for you.
1. Are You Content With Him
Do you look around the room to see who else is out there while on a date? Or are you satisfied by him so much so that everybody else fades and you somehow not only want people to notice you two, but you seemingly forget about everyone else at the same time? If your answer is yes to the latter, keep the momentum going. If not, then it’s time to part ways. He ain’t the one.
2. Does He Hinder Your Progress
It is typical in unhealthy relationships for one partner to ultimately sabotage the other. They may act unreasonably because they consider their partner’s success or accomplishments a threat to them. For instance, he may refuse to acknowledge your victories. He refuses to offer support when things are going amazing for you. He likes to see you miserable and unhappy because guess what? He then feels like he can be the prize that you’ve always needed. NOT!
Your partner should be proud of the career or study achievements you’ve made and not feel insecure or inadequate. Dating a guy who is happy with his life means they’ll advise, support, and encourage you. They will be your biggest fan, and they’ll cheer you on to be the best you can be. They’ll happily be your photographer for every Instagram photo you take!
3. Does He Accept You The Way You Are
He accepts you for who you are. You don’t have to act, dress, or behave differently with him. If you’re dating a man who tells you what you can and cannot do, or you have to conform to his behavior, standards, and values……run! If it isn’t easy, if you have to think before you speak, or if you feel anxious around the dude, exit stage left – like who has time for that, for real?!
Someone with this attitude is a manipulator. He is insecure, and his need for control will eventually eat you and your relationship all the way up! Kick him to the curb and reach for your highest of heights alone until your true match comes along – you hear me?!
4. How Well Do They Blend-In With Your Life
Can you visualize your partner integrating into other areas of your world outside the shell of the relationship? Does he get along with your friends and family and vice versa? Do you share common interests and activities you enjoy doing together?
If you answer yes, then this is a positive sign that he’s right for you. If your friends are asking you…where is or why didn’t you bring (input your man’s name?) then most likely they either love or hate him. Clarify which one before you bring him to the next outing 🙂
5. Is He a Good Listener
A definite sign that you’re dating the right person is he’s interested in what goes on in your life and is a keen listener when you are talking. He comforts you, knows your boundaries, and recalls previous conversations you’ve had with him. Simply put, this means he cares. He is engaged. He feels like you are important, and this sister friend is a beautiful thing.
In contrast, if he dominates the conversation without allowing you to talk or jumps in when you are talking, you are only an audience to him. You could be Sally, Karen, Tamika, or Melissa. Anyone could be the placeholder. Unfortunately, you just are not that special to him, and you guessed it, he ain’t the one!
Let’s dig a little deeper…….. how to tell if he is right for you
With a world population of over seven billion, never before have we had so much access to different people till now. It’s an abyss of options, both online and offline. The main point to consider is how can we separate the best from the rest?
Ask yourself, do you have common interests? The more you have in common with him, the more likely your relationship will last longer. The adage “opposites attract” is true to a point because we can most definitely supplement what the other person lacks. It’s called balance.
However, if there are complete differences, for instance, he doesn’t like anything you enjoy, and all you have in common is dating each other; bet your last dollar, this relationship will not last, or it will be tragic and a wack relationship to say the least. It may begin fruitfully, but end dire.
Reflect and consider, how much time can you spend with him before you get tired, bored, annoyed, or all of the above? When you’re in a relationship, we all know you go through a honeymoon phase where you want to spend the most time with him because his energy matches yours.
As the excitement (well the lust) fades, you realize maybe he isn’t the one for you. All of a sudden you really don’t want to spend as much time with him as before, and his mannerisms really start to aggravate you. Special note: If you are on a full-day trip with him and you aren’t fed up with him by the end of the day, that’s a great sign.
But that’s not all….
Every woman wants a man who will love and care for her all her life, and even into infinity. So, after several unfruitful relationships, you realize you need to pay close attention to your intuition in your next relationship. Oprah says, “Doubt means don’t.” Take heed to this notion. There will be distinct indicators that he’s in it for the long haul and therefore worth your time and attention. If you aren’t sure, ask him. If he doesn’t reassure you, get away now before you get really hurt.
Here Is How to Know If You Found The Right Guy
1. Chemistry
Chemistry is the cement that holds you and your partner together. It makes you excited; you daydream about him and you can’t wait for the next date. A relationship without chemistry has no spark, so the couple finds it almost impossible to connect.
Therefore, in the initial stages of your relationship, assess whether he attracts you physically, emotionally, and mentally. Take mental notes on what you find attractive about him and rate them. If he has more highly rated undesirable qualities, think twice about the relationship.
2. Compatibility
You have chemistry between the two of you, but the next determinant – Is he the right person? Compatibility determines whether you suit each other and if your relationship will last.
Therefore, get to know what he thinks about family, finances, shared faith. In addition, ask yourself do your careers align or will it force you to go onto a different path? Remember not to lose yourself in the relationship.
So, carefully consider areas of your life that are not debatable and stick to them when dating. Knowing your non-negotiables will prevent you from being carried away by his whims.
3. Commitment
You are both compatible and have good chemistry, but is he ready to commit to a long-term relationship? It’s pointless dating if the relationship is not going anywhere.
Bring this topic up on a date and listen to him, and please don’t be afraid to ask the question. You are worthy to ask and you deserve an honest answer. Give him space and time to talk about the future, what he thinks about marriage and kids. Giving him this platform will enable him to speak his mind without reservation, and for you to learn and absorb exactly what he wants. Take what he says as truth. Don’t try to read into or create a narrative of “ what he could mean.” That, girlfriend, is setting yourself up for failure – promise.
4. Conflict Resolution
How you handle conflicts will determine whether your relationship will last. It’s normal for couples in healthy long-term relationships to have disagreements, but how do they resolve such misunderstandings? They first calm down, talk it over, apologize and move on. If he still listens to you, loves and respects you during an argument and after, then you have a good guy. Things may get heated, but the goal should always be a resolution. Someone has to relinquish pride and make space for synergy. Most times it should be the guy. #justsayin.
There you have it—the four C’s on how to know if you found the right guy. So take the time to get to know him before you fully immerse yourself. Discover what makes him who he is and allow him to know you. If you are authentically yourself from the beginning, the rest will fall into place. You will be better off when you invest in conversation, morals, values, and more than just the physical. Once done, you will for sure be better off than some couples who start a relationship immediately without having an understanding of the foundation of a person. Just be prepared to challenge yourself. To step out of your comfort zone, communicate and compromise.
Cheers to your next great relationship or congrats to you recognizing this is it for you – you have found the one!
When you get into a happy relationship and are searching for tips to maintain relationship wellness, we got you covered.
