Relationship Red Flags and Deal Breakers

Is it just me, or has the term red flags become more used than ever before? Not to mention these popping up all on your timelines! 🚩🚩🚩 No matter what, it shouldn’t be a surprise, that red flags are always a concern in relationships. Red flags should be like dodging the plague. #justsaying. The question remains, what are the red flags that you should be looking out for when it comes to a relationship?

When you’re in a new romantic relationship with someone you adore, you feel like you’re living at the peak of happiness. On one hand, a seemingly perfect match might be just right for you; but on the other hand, it could lead you down some dangerous paths. Following are a few examples of red flags that you should absolutely avoid and take heed of.

If the person you are talking to has an intense fear of rejection, a lack of empathy showcases manipulative behavior, or an abrupt transition from feeling someone is perfect to thinking they are horrible, the above characteristics should cause for a pause.

On the other hand, while you are out here peering into another’s life and judging for your own safety, take a look at yourself too. 

Before entering into a committed relationship with someone, you should absolutely be aware of who you are. You need to know what kind of partner and relationship you want out of life, and what you are willing to give and offer to be in a committed situation of coupledom! 

Here Is a Detailed Relationship Red Flags List

We are here to help you make better decisions about who you date and what type of relationship you pursue.

Even if you think you know the warning signs to watch out for, it goes without saying that what appears minor may become significant over time. In retrospect, realistically, people often question their actions and relationship goals when they think of past relationships and entanglements. Whatever you do, even as you gloriously experience the shiny phase of attraction, stay clear of those red flag warning signs that indicate there may be trouble ahead. 

Most times too, although you may attempt to be an ignorant vessel, you will see or feel the existence of red flags, all we are saying is – don’t ignore them. 

1.   You Are Unable To Be Yourself In The Vicinity Of Your Partner

We all should be ourselves, so being in a relationship where your partner forces you to act like someone else isn’t a healthy sign. With time, you should feel more at ease with your lover and disclose more of your identity. Sometimes, you may feel so at ease from the very beginning that it may seem a bit unusual. This can be a good thing, just as long as it is sustained. It is most definitely a red flag If you feel like you need to start hiding or suppressing aspects of yourself that your partner disapproves of. If you cannot be you – RED FLAG!

2.   Communication Breakdown

It’s not good for a relationship if your partner has difficulty expressing themselves or pulls back. When it’s crucial to be open and honest, if they emotionally withdraw themselves, leaving their lover in the dark or resolving an issue alone; this is not how a quality relationship should be.

When it comes to discussing money, their past, or any other concerns that may crop up in a relationship, sure there may some hesitancy, and even a little fear, but they should be expressive. When they are not – there could be another issue bellowing.

When your partner appears distant or unresponsive when you speak to them, or they don’t respond to your calls or text messages, this could indicate that they are either not interested in you or preoccupied with something else. RED FLAG!

You can get to the bottom of this if you decide to communicate and compromise in your relationship, just so you both understand where the other is coming from, and you get to a point of discovery and healing. Relationships can for sure be healing. 

3.   They Want You to Give Up Everything for Them

It’s critical for people in relationships to maintain their identities. Keep your goals, friends, and hobbies. If your partner doesn’t support your hobbies or gets upset when you spend time with your family members or friends, or even if they don’t understand you need your alone time, friends…I gotta say it —RED FLAG!

It’s true. Relationships should be enjoyable for all parties involved, and there are signs for you to follow to help you to know you’ve found the one. No doubt, one sign is to avoid having to change your entire personality for someone else. They should love you for you!

I’m pretty sure, we all know, it’s natural for newly dating couples to spend more time together and less time socializing with friends and family. How many times have your girlfriends neglected you for their new boo – hah! That’s ok sometimes though. Let your friends get their boo thangness on! But, if at any given time you believe your partner will become upset, jealous, or critical if you hang out with friends or family, you guessed it – RED FLAG

4.   Those Close to You Disapprove of Your Relationship

Pay attention if people familiar with you seem displeased with your partner. Their opinion may not seem significant to you at first, but it may come in handy later. If your friends and family members are firm in their opposition to your lover, they may be right. If they tell you that ‘something is amiss’ about your lover, you should consider their advice.

It’s unsettling to listen to critiques about your partner when you are in the depths of a new relationship, but from an outsider’s point of view, they see things past the glossy front that you are so invested in. They are reading a different page of your love story book! If your loved ones are genuinely concerned and they voice their concern reasonably and NOT out of jealousy, consider their disapproval may be a…RED FLAG!

5.   They Go Too Far Too Soon

Don’t we want someone to go above and beyond for us? Absolutely, for sure! 

Who wouldn’t want that?

Rarely you may meet someone who treats you well right away and keeps at it throughout your entire relationship. In contrast, serial daters tend to follow a similar pattern in their relationships with multiple people simultaneously. These types are likely demonstrating the same behavior and offering the same lackluster game with a variety of individuals. Can we say, ego, anyone?! 

These types will lead you on in a relationship to reap your positivity but they have no intention of committing – TRASH BAGS! 

These same types are prone to leave as soon as possible because they only wanted to gain what they could, and quickly. Just remember, everything must be sustainable. No one is able to cater to your every need ALL the time, so if someone is trying to ACT like they will be able to do so, this could be them ‘doing too much’ and this act could very well be a…RED FLAG!

6.   Manipulation

A relationship red flags list cannot miss manipulation. Avoid a manipulator at all costs! Oooh, master manipulators are the worst. They literally have you believing their lies and with conviction. When you are in a relationship with a manipulator, typically toward the beginning of the relationship and manipulation tactics, you are questioning a lot. This is a RED FLAG! Trust your intuition. 

When it comes to a manipulator, it’s important to know their most potent weapon is fear and control. They will intimidate or question you, be incredibly charming, and worst case, they will resort to violence to achieve their goals of control. 

Why are you doing it that way? Don’t you think you should…?? Blah! There is kindness. And there is the intention of control behind kindness. Stay attuned to the delivery. Hostile tones. Condescending tones and expectations are all red flags with an intention of coercion warranting you into complying with their demands.  Nothing happens overnight, and that is why master manipulators are flagged appropriately. There is a real sense of grooming occurring. Rather than introducing you to fear tactics and causing alarm, their charisma meets you to satisfy your needs, making it much easier for them to control you later! UGH!

Manipulators can be verbally or physically abusive. A common tactic in their control toolbox is to leverage on your insecurities. For instance, if you’re earning a meager wage. Your manipulator will use this by saying, “you are lucky to have me, no one except me will ever love you with that paycheck.”

Gaslighting is also one of the most ignored forms of manipulation. The manipulator shifts the blame on you for an action they took or holds you accountable for their reaction to a circumstance, creating the impression that you are the problem. Gaslighting is designed to make you feel uneasy and make you doubt your sanity. It is so difficult to get out of this once gaslighting has occurred for a significant amount of time. Gaslighting compromises your trust in yourself, and having to admit then forgive yourself is something that is extremely tough. 

Your gut is yours to keep. It is yours to keep you safe and it is reliable. Trust your gut. Trust your intuition. Trust your instincts. If something feels strange, it’s ok to be apprehensive and you can end the relationship for whatever reason that may be valid to you! When any of the above occurs in your relationship flag it as such – RED FLAGS!

You are strong enough to get away and you absolutely deserve and will find a better partner!

5 Relationship Red Flags and Deal-Breakers

When you’re convinced that everything is normal, you won’t pay attention to relationship red flags and deal-breakers in the person you love.

Why? Perhaps you were raised in a toxic family and don’t know any better, or your partner threatens you if you leave. You choose to stay despite the warning signs. You look forward to growing old together and hope that staying in the relationship will change them for the better.

Deal-breakers are the areas that you will not compromise on in a relationship, even though your partner has other positive characteristics or you have been together for years.

 Some typical relationship deal-breakers are:

1.   Physical Abuse

Physical abuse, in any form, is a relationship red flag and a deal-breaker, and you should not tolerate it. If you are intimidated by your partner’s behavior, if they have shoved you or acted in a way that suggests they may be physically abusive …….run and don’t look back!

2.   Excessive Jealousy and Domineering Behavior

A jealous partner is prone to exhibiting controlling behaviors. They may bombard you with frequent phone calls or texts and try to exert their influence over you.

Subtle attempts to dominate begin early but gradually become evident with time. If you feel suffocated by your lover or change your behavior so they don’t feel jealous, it indicates deeper issues at play.

3.   Alcohol or Substance Abuse

If you’re dating someone who can’t regulate their alcohol intake or uses drugs excessively, they may be addicted. In this instance, a serious talk is the first step. If your partner is a binge drinker who refuses to seek help, consider this a deal-breaker. However, if they can recognize the problem and seek professional help, it could improve your relationship.

4.   They’re Clingy

A clingy partner is also a relationship red flag and deal-breaker. Every aspect of their existence revolves around you. They have nothing but you. They’ll say you don’t love them if you want some alone time.

Personal time is vital. If your lover hovers around you and has no life away from you, consider this as a warning sign.

5. Financial Abuse

“It was so tough for me to find someone that didn’t take my need for alone time, personally. I cannot tell you how annoyed I used to be because of it, but not anymore!” – Tamika Carlton

Often, people who show these warning signs don’t improve even when the signs are pointed out to them. Be careful if you encounter any of these relationship red flags and deal-breakers. If you remain in the relationship hoping that the situation will improve, you are squandering valuable time.

It won’t be long until their behavior gets out of hand. It’s like lighting a firecracker inside a bucket full of gunpowder! You could suffer if you don’t heed the warning signs, and you do not need, nor deserve that. Seek therapy too to heal. To understand why you may decide to internalize red flags or remain in a relationship where red flags are occurring – loud and clear! 

You deserve to get the best in life. No need to suffer. Clear your journey with a newfound way of approaching relationships and life. Another opinion and a professional one is an incredible feat when you find the best therapist for you!