Is it hard for you to talk with your man? And I don’t mean just talk; I mean to communicate. Is that a resounding, YES? I’m kidding. If it is, this is for you.
Arguably, it’s a known fact that men and women communicate differently. Like two extremes, parallel lines, two sides of a coin, there seems to be a real communication barrier. This didn’t start in modern times. Heck, I’m sure Shakespeare’s wife had the same issues, and he was a wordsmith.
This is why it’s no wonder so much frustration comes with male-female communication, especially in relationships. Countless women have said things like, “Talking to a man can be like slamming my head against a brick wall at times. He just doesn’t answer or doesn’t listen.”
There are biological, scientific, and socio-cultural reasons for how men communicate, but that’s not the topic. So, let’s cut to the chase.
What really works when talking to a man? More significantly, how do you communicate with a man you like?
How to Learn To Communicate With Men
It’s ironic how there are so many different yet universal beliefs to how men communicate.
In most cases, men are believed to be inexpressive. They are seen as this concrete wall of emotions that refuse to let out what’s in their heads. In contrast, their means of expressing themself have no bounds.
Girls, have you ever thought to yourself, I must be talking to myself? We can get so swallowed up by our own web of emotions, we often forget it’s a whole other person we are speaking to. It is one thing to talk, and another to communicate. We talk to let things out; we communicate to convey a message.
So, babes, the first thing to note is, you have to learn your man because the extra tips I’m about to give won’t work if you don’t know what to filter. Yes, he’s your partner, but he’s not you, and forcing him to speak your language isn’t at all fair.
Let’s be honest. Some of us want to talk to men like we are talking to our girlfriends. That’s okay. But don’t be upset when he doesn’t get it or doesn’t react in the way you want him to. It’s all about speaking his love language, so you both can get the results you desire.
5 extra tips to use to communicate with men
1. Don’t beat around the bush:
Contrary to belief, it isn’t all “cute” when your man has to second guess what you mean every time. This will lead to webs of frustration, misunderstandings, and in turn, cause him to lose interest.
He isn’t a mind reader. It’s an exhausting task to play mental gymnastics to understand how your partner feels so don’t make him do it. Explain your feelings and thoughts straight and as clearly as possible. Get straight to the point without being aggressive, and you’ll have a far better chance of getting through. It’ll be much easier to be “cute” with him when he has lots of understanding of your emotions.
2. Avoid the blame game:
Don’t start the conversation by criticizing his communication skills. This rarely works.
Instead of stating things like “You never listen” or “You don’t even remember what we talk about,” start with something sweet. You can’t come on like Madea and not expect some sort of defense.
It may be pretty tempting to play the blame game but resist the temptation. To get your partner to communicate, prepare yourself to speak positively to him. So, ease your way with him. Yes, you might be upset, but focus on the end goal. Little words like “I know you’ve been stressed lately, I just wanted to remind you…” This allows his guard to come down and communication to flow more freely.
3. Cut out distractions:
It’s one thing to get and another to keep a man’s attention. It’s not all about you. So choose the right place and time. Especially when you know he’s not distracted.
Don’t think you’ll have a decent conversation with a man engrossed in gaming or TV, and don’t go unplugging his PS5, stating “we need to talk.” Chances are, the message won’t stick anyways. Don’t bring it up in crowded places. You have to be sensitive to him too. Let him know his perspective, vibe and feeling is just as important as yours. Respect one another, no matter the frustration.
4. Be Respectful:
All guys have an ego, even if they don’t show it. Insults, belittlement, and humiliation are the things they despise the most.
Every man wants to feel like he is manly enough, and insulting his manhood negates everything else. If you show him that you don’t appreciate him, you will not get far. There should be no name-calling, no low blows, and no bringing up the past, and this needs to happen no matter how much you believe he is wrong.
Don’t try to sabotage his self-confidence or exacerbate his insecurities. When you’re communicating in front of others, this is very crucial. This doesn’t mean you should be a “yesman.” However, ask yourself, is the goal to show him he’s wrong, or for us to get past this?”
5. Use a positive approach:
Putting a negative perspective on everything is the most effective technique of keeping men and women quiet, bruised, and completely over the discussion. It’s important, although not always easy to use a positive approach when communicating with your boo.
Presenting your point of view in a positive light helps keep your man engaged in the conversation. In this situation, he is more likely to communicate effectively.
Remember, relationships are a two-way street. Communicating takes effort. It is exhausting, but it’s the little things that matter. Men are simple. Trying to see things from his perspective is a major game-changer. Be his peace. If he’s yours, he deserves to be at peace with his partner, and so do you. He’s worth it. You’re worth it. You two or three… or so on are worth it together!
Communication is also about compromise, so take some lessons from this article too.
I hope you enjoyed this read. Feel free to re-visit anytime. Hope you picked up a thing, or two. Cheers!
Author Bio:
Leader Nwabekeh is a freelance content/creative writer. She is currently pursuing a law degree. She aspires to see the world through writing and help others see the world through her words.
