Conflict is inevitable in any relationship, and it is normal to have various conflicts within any type of relationship. When you are binding differences of opinions, upbringings, and experiences together, it is practically impossible for anyone to agree on everything, all of the time! Seek comfort in knowing that although arguments and disagreements may come up from time to time, there can be resolved. Unfortunately, sometimes conflict can get out of hand and can be a source of tension, stress, and even hurt feelings in the most loving of relationships. If not managed properly though, conflicts can lead to distance and even breakups.
However, not all conflicts are the same. Conflict isn’t necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it can be helpful in sparking new discussions and ideas. It can also help couples grow and become closer to each other. Challenges come from conflict, but growth can be obtained by discussing and truly attempting to understand one another’s perspectives.
Types of Conflicts Occur in Relationships
There are many different types of conflict that can arise in a relationship. Some conflicts are minor and easily resolved, while others are more serious and require significant effort to work through. How you handle conflict in your relationships will determine whether or not those relationships are successful, long-lasting, and fulfilling. So it’s important to learn how to handle conflict effectively. The first step is to understand the different types of conflict that can occur in relationships. Once you understand the different types of conflict, you can start to work on handling them in a more constructive way.
1. Passive-Aggressive Conflict
2. Manipulative Conflict
3. Dominant-Submissive Conflict
4. Value conflict
5. Personality conflict
6. Jealousy Conflict
7. Trust Issues Conflict
8. Perspective conflict
Passive-aggressive
Passive-aggressive conflict is when one person tries to indirectly express their needs or feelings but ends up doing so in a way that is passive or aggressive. This type of conflict can be difficult to identify and even more difficult to resolve. In the new age world, it is when someone is being petty, knowingly.
Manipulative conflict
Manipulative conflict is when one person tries to control or manipulate the other person in the relationship. This type of conflict is usually about power and control and can be very toxic to a relationship.
Dominant-submissive conflict
Dominant-submissive conflict is when one person tries to control or dominate the other person in the relationship. This type of conflict can be damaging to a relationship if it’s not dealt with in a healthy way.
Value conflict
This type of conflict occurs when you have different values or beliefs. For example, you may disagree on how important religion is to the relationship, or whether or not to have children. Value conflicts can be more difficult to resolve, as they require a compromise on core beliefs.
Personality conflict
This type of conflict occurs when you have different personality types. For example, one person may be extroverted and social while the other is introverted and prefers quiet time alone. Personality conflicts can be challenging to manage, but understanding and accepting each other’s differences can help.
Jealousy conflict
Jealousy conflict is when one person in a relationship feels threatened by the attention or affection that the other person is giving to someone else.
Trust issues
Trust issues conflict is when one person in a relationship has difficulty trusting the other person. Typically, when trust is not established or broken, it is a long road to mending that reality. It is important for each partner to be transparent and identify the core reasons for a lack of trust. All in all, this type of conflict can be damaging to a relationship if it’s not dealt with in a healthy, and consistent way.
Perspective conflict
This type of conflict occurs when you have different perspectives on an issue. For example, one person may feel like they’re being ignored while the other feels like they’re being smothered. Perspective conflicts can help couples understand each other’s feelings and needs, as well as help to identify their love languages and ways in which each partner desires to receive love.
Why conflicts may arise in a relationship: Causes
There are many different things that can cause conflict in a relationship. Some of the more common causes include.
- Money problems
- Jealousy
- Different interests and hobbies
- Lack of communication
- Family issues
- Trust issues
- Misunderstandings
- Stress from work or other life commitments
- Unmet needs or expectations
- Different values
- Lack of intimacy
- Control issues
Money Issues
One of the most common causes of conflict in relationships is money problems. Whether it’s spending too much money, not having enough money, or arguing about how to save or spend money, financial disagreements can be a big source of tension in a relationship.
Jealousy
Jealousy can often be at the root of many arguments and disputes between couples. If one person feels like they’re always being compared to the other person’s ex, or if they feel like their partner is flirting with other people, it can lead to a lot of hurt feelings and resentment.
Different interests and hobbies
It’s common for people in relationships to have different interests and hobbies. While it’s great to have things in common with your partner, it’s also important to respect each other’s differences. If one person is constantly trying to force the other person to do things they don’t want to do, it can lead to conflict.
Lack of communication
Communication in a relationship is irreplaceable. Clear, concise, open communication is necessary and ongoing. If couples are not communicating effectively, it can lead to misunderstandings and resentment.
Family issues
Family Issues are another common cause of conflict in relationships. Whether it’s disagreements about how to raise children, in-laws that are too involved, or different opinions on what role family should play in your life, family issues can be a big source of tension between couples.
Trust issues
Once again – trust is a fundamental part of any relationship. If there are trust issues, it can be difficult to move forward in a healthy way in any relationship.
Misunderstandings
Misunderstandings are common in all relationships. They are often caused by miscommunication and can be resolved by simply clarifying what each person meant to say. However, if misunderstandings are not resolved, they can lead to bigger problems down the road because, well, if you don’t understand what your partner is saying, you will never grasp how to truly move forward past the misunderstanding.
Stress from work or other life commitments
Stress from work or other life commitments can often lead to conflict in relationships. If one person is feeling overwhelmed, it can be difficult to focus on the relationship, and in turn, offer what your partner may be expecting or needing from you This can often lead to arguments and disagreements.
Unmet needs or expectations
If you or your partner feels like your needs or expectations are not being met, it can lead to conflict, and can often result in a person wanting to look elsewhere for their needs to be met. This is often the result of different expectations or mismatched needs.
Different values
Values are a fundamental part of who we are. If you and your partner have different values, it can be difficult to find common ground. This can lead to arguments and disagreements about important life decisions resulting in not being on the same page. This is not healthy or fun.
Lack of intimacy
Intimacy is an important part of any relationship. It connects you to your partner and creates an unbreakable bond, but if you and your partner are not investing in developing your intimacy, it can lead to distance and tension and may cause ongoing conflicts to arise.
Control issues
Control issues can often be a major source of conflict in relationships. If one person feels like they’re always being controlled or bossed around, it can lead to frustration and a lack of growth within the coupledom. . And if one person is the controller and not feeling like they are gaining exactly what they want, well, that is a whole other issue!
How can you handle conflict in a relationship?
Each type of conflict requires a different approach to be resolved effectively. No matter what type of conflict you’re facing, the key to resolving it is to stay calm and constructive. There are many different ways that people handle conflict in relationships. Some people avoid conflict altogether, while others tend to engage in it head-on. There is no right or wrong way to handle conflict, but there are certain strategies that can help to make conflict management more effective. If you can do the following, you’ll be well on your way to a happy and healthy relationship.
Communicate openly and honestly
If you’re having a disagreement with your partner, it’s important to communicate openly and honestly. This means being willing to listen to their point of view, as well as sharing your own. It’s also important to avoid getting defensive or attacking your partner. Don’t bottle things up or try to hide how you really feel. This will only make things worse in the long run. If you are not able to communicate effectively, it will be more difficult to resolve conflicts.
Avoid making assumptions
When you’re in the middle of a conflict, it can be easy to make assumptions about what your partner is thinking or feeling. But this can often lead to misunderstandings and further disagreements. So instead of assuming, try to ask questions and really listen to the answers. This will help you to understand where they’re coming from and what they want.
Be willing to compromise
In any relationship, there will be times when you’ll need to compromise in order to find a resolution. This doesn’t mean that you have to give in to everything, but it does mean being willing to meet in the middle. If you’re both willing to compromise, then you’re more likely to find a solution that works for both of you.
Avoid playing the blame game
It’s easy to fall into the trap of playing the blame game when conflicts arise. But this will only make the situation worse. Instead of trying to place blame, focus on finding a way to move forward. This means taking responsibility for your own actions and avoiding finger-pointing.
Listen to each other carefully
In order to resolve conflict, you need to understand where the other person is coming from. That means listening to them carefully and trying to see things from their perspective. Don’t just wait for your turn to speak. Really listen to what the other person is saying and try to empathize with their position.
Take a break if things get too heated
If you find that you’re getting too emotionally charged during a discussion, it might be helpful to take a break. This doesn’t mean giving up on the conversation, but rather taking some time to calm down before continuing. Once you’ve both had a chance to cool off, you’ll be able to approach the situation with more level heads.
Also Read: EMOTIONAL SUPPORT IN A RELATIONSHIP
Seek help if needed
If you find that you are not able to effectively manage conflict on your own, it may be helpful to seek out professional help. A therapist, counselor, friend, or family member can provide guidance and support in learning how to handle conflict in a healthy way.
What should you do if you can’t resolve the conflict?
By understanding the different conflict resolution styles and being willing to work together, you can find a way to handle conflict in a way that is constructive and respectful. There are three basic styles of conflict resolution:
Avoidance:
This is when you simply avoid the issue altogether. This may work in the short term, but it will eventually lead to resentment and bitterness.
Compromise:
This is when you try to meet in the middle and find a solution that works for both of you. This can be an effective approach, but it doesn’t always lead to the best possible outcome.
Collaboration:
This is when you work together to find a creative solution that meets both of your needs. This is usually the most effective approach to conflict resolution, but it requires good communication and a willingness to work together.
If you have tried to resolve the conflict on your own and it just isn’t working, then you might need to seek outside help. This could mean going to see a therapist or counselor who can help you both communicate better. If the problem is serious, then you might need to consider ending the relationship.
Visit Couples Experience CE Circle to learn more about how to handle conflicts in relationships and strengthen the bond between your loved ones. Be sure to follow us on social media for the latest updates on inclusive relationship advice, and upcoming couples retreat or couples events in your city!
