If you have kids, you know it is one of the most rewarding experiences a person can have. But it also comes with its own set of challenges that seem to be never-ending. Between work, household responsibilities, and taking care of your kids, finding the time to focus on your relationship is challenging. However, connecting with your partner is essential to creating a great space for your children. So ensuring you maintain a strong relationship with your significant other should always be a priority.
Kids tend to observe and emulate, so try to set a positive example by showing up in a healthy relationship that provides a stable and supportive environment for your children. We know it can be tricky at times. I bet you are asking, how can you maintain the spark in your relationship and make your partner feel wanted and appreciated with everything you have going on? To answer this question, we’ve consulted experts in keeping the love alive, and in this article, we’ll provide practical tips on how to focus on your relationship when you have kids.
Having kids doesn’t mean you shouldn’t focus on your relationship
Being a parent is one of life’s greatest joys, but it can also bring a lot of stress and distractions. It goes without saying that your kids are and should be your priority. However, it’s equally crucial for them and you to maintain a strong relationship with your partner. Remember – the same way family affects your relationship with your partner, your relationship with your partner affects your family, too.
Always remember that your relationship with your partner is a model for your kids’ future relationships.
Therefore, finding time and ways to focus on your relationship when you have kids is important. We won’t lie – it won’t always be easy, but it will be worth it. You’ll encounter obstacles along the way, but you know the saying, nothing worth having comes easy. We want you to have the tools in your toolkit to succeed in making your relationship a highlight of your life.
Communicate Regularly
You’ve heard it here before, and you’ve heard it all over the place, and you will read it again. Regular communication is key to any healthy relationship, and it’s especially important when you have kids. You and your partner need to talk to each other, share your thoughts, and discuss your feelings. This helps you stay connected and understand each other’s needs and perspectives.
When you communicate, make a conscious effort to listen to your partner actively. Put your phone down. Make eye contact. Turn the TV off and allow one another time and space to share your thoughts, in-depth feelings, and even new ideas. Take turns speaking and try to truly understand each other and engage so you can reach a new level in your relationship.
Focus on Quality Time
Even though getting a break when you have kids can be challenging, spending quality time with your partner is crucial for any relationship – duh, right?! With the demands of parenting, you may have limited opportunities for alone time with your partner. So share in the experiences you both enjoy the most. Once again, turn off your phones, eliminate distractions, and enjoy a date night, a movie, a game night, or a quiet romantic dinner at home. Give each other your undivided attention, and make an effort to connect on a deeper level. Dedicating even 10 minutes before bed or any other more convenient time can do wonders for your relationship.
Small Things Matter
It’s important to remember that even the smallest gestures can make a big impact on your relationship. Usually, the smallest things make the most significant impression. For example, telling your partner to take a nap or a shower while you watch the kids or making time for your partner to enjoy their favorite show or activity without interruption can go a long way. Both actions can help ease the burden of parenting and show your partner that you care. It’s a proven method to make your partner smile!
Pay attention to the power of small gestures in your relationship because they can make a big difference in helping you focus on each other.
Other small acts (cooking a meal, doing the dishes, or simply listening to your partner) can also go a long way in maintaining a strong and healthy relationship. By taking the time to do the small things, you’ll show your partner that you value their well-being and happiness, which can help deepen your bond.
Delegate Responsibilities
To alleviate the pressure of being full-time parents, consider delegating responsibilities and dividing chores equally between you and your partner. This not only frees up some time, but it also helps build trust and strengthen your relationship. By working together as a team, you can achieve more and feel more connected to each other. #TeamworkDreamwork
Express Gratitude
Make an effort to appreciate your partner’s efforts and thank them for their contributions to the family. Whether a heartfelt compliment or a simple gesture of appreciation, these small actions can help build positive energy and foster a closer bond. Showing gratitude for your partner helps you focus on the good in your relationship. Not to mention that it makes it easier to work through any challenges.
Focus on the Present
When you have kids, it’s easy to get caught up in the future and worry about what’s to come, and we get it, considering all that could go on. However, it’s crucial to focus on the present moment and enjoy each other’s company. The present is where you can connect and have fun with your partner. We say, STOP! Set aside your worries about the future and enjoy each other’s company today! Laugh together, have fun, and make memories that will last a lifetime right now! Deal?
Do Something Spontaneous Together
Adding a touch of spontaneity to your relationship can help you focus on each other and build new memories. Trying a new hobby or activity together, taking a weekend getaway, going on a couples retreat, or doing something spontaneous can help reignite the spark in your relationship. A couples retreat or a weekend getaway, in particular, can provide a much-needed break from the demands of parenting and help you reconnect with your partner.
Going on a romantic or adventurous weekend getaway is a great way to focus on your relationship when you have kids.
The best part is that it can be a short distance from home if you feel uncertain about leaving your kids without you for a long period. For instance, if you’re planning a weekend getaway from Fort Worth, Texas, and want to explore some new places, you can visit Lake Tawakoni State Park, a short hour-and-a-half drive from you. So take the time to plan a fun and exciting getaway. Doing something spontaneous together is a great way to focus on your relationship, enjoy new experiences, and create memorable moments.
Small Acts of Physical Intimacy
Physical touch can be a powerful way to strengthen your relationship and make your partner feel wanted. Small acts of physical intimacy (holding hands, kissing the cheek or forehead, or even a hug) can help you feel connected to each other and provide a much-needed break from the demands of parenting. These gestures can boost your mood, making it easier to handle parenting challenges. So take the time to show your partner affection, even in small ways. Affection is all about elevating and connecting.
The Bottom Line
Even though it can be difficult, you must find time to focus on your relationship when you have kids. Always remember that your relationship with your partner is as meaningful as your relationship with your kids. And by making it a priority, you’ll be setting a positive example for your children, showing them what a healthy, loving, and supportive relationship looks like. So, prioritize your relationship, even with the demands of parenting. You can maintain a strong and healthy relationship for years with a little effort and much love.
Sign up for the Couples Experience CE Circle to discuss upcoming couple events, couple retreats, and date night ideas. Experience more today! Also, be sure to follow us on Instagram.
