I remember the days before I had the love that I wanted, needed, and deserved. I can recall the days of swiping left more than right on Tinder and having to chat it up with someone having NO idea where it will go, or if whatever happened would even be worth it. How about having to add the description of yourself on other dating sites to be judged by what you say and what profile photos you select – who really feels like doing all that? Or the third wheel life? HAHA – that was definitely my life! Such a dire situation at times. If you’ve been there, you know, but how do you get the love you want?!Tinder Webb App PerformanceI can recall the moments of dressing up – a bit (I’m the jeans and nice shirt type of gal) and going to a new bar with friends or alone to just have a fun night out away from home, thinking hmmm…wonder if there will be any cute guys?? I would be approached by the thirsty ones, the immediate friend zone ones, and the not-so-cute ones, but the liquor in me would have me bamboozling myself. Giving my number out, only to be alarmed with the photo the next day from the NOT MY TYPE guy. We’ve all been there…once, twice or maybe even thrice LOL!
I would have a good time, most times, but I was annoyed as all get out at times to have to go through the phases of the dating process. Swipe right. Connect. Chat. Schedule a date. Anticipate having to get dressed. UGH! Go out. Get to know one another – maybe or maybe not. Eat. Drink. End Date. Follow up or…NOT!
Listen, my dating life was what it should be. I explored all heights, races, backgrounds, experiences and tried new cuisines, new date nights, dudes that were strange to me, some were insecure or overconfident, while others were just lost in the sauce, but all that should go into the world of dating, right? I surely think so. The point is to get through the nonsense and explore enough to get to the knowing of self, loving of self, no matter what, and getting to know what YOU truly want.
My mom gave me some great advice during a daily conversation of ours. I didn’t ask for it, but thankfully my mind absorbed it and I took it to heart – she said, “Women forget we can choose who we are with. Most just choose the man that chooses them.” WHOOOO CHILE! Let’s analyze THAT statement. How many women do YOU know that is with any man they meet? Women end up with the alright men. The ones with potential, that end up going to Nowheresville! The feeling of fear of not wanting to start over and taking the so-called easy route is no joke. The infamous tales of hearing, “he says he loves me and likes me” has been the rationale for plenty of women. Or maybe the sex is good, so we women may stay and we get stuck!
No Bueno! I didn’t want that for myself, but it can happen. I was trying to dedicate time to myself – to enjoy the journey and #thestruggle of just going and living the way I wanted to and when the ONE came along, I hoped I would know and would be able to choose and differentiate the feeling from the others! Do you get me?
I struggled through the kind men, the stalkers, the hood, the educated, the bisexual, the wannabes, the good, the bad, the ones I should have liked, the ones that I simply SHOULD NOT have liked. I mean goodness, I went through it all. I fell in love, or so I thought. I cried. Fought to smile through the selected relationships that were nowhere near being a good decision. I kissed and told. I held some to myself and held on to a few for far TOO long. To the point, my confidence was degraded. My drive to date dissolved. I have to say, it felt like I went through it all – at least enough to the point, I ended up at my rock bottom.
desired and was deemed to have, happened when I least expected it!
