Relationships are complicated. They involve two people who are each bringing their own baggage, hopes, and fears to the table. When you open yourself up to someone else, you’re opening yourself up to your vulnerabilities. You are allowing someone to see your strengths and your weaknesses, not to mention the possibility of feeling hurt and rejected. It’s no wonder that so many people are afraid to get into a relationship. But while there is always some risk involved in any relationship, the rewards can be more than worth it. It’s been said, the best relationships make room for your healing, and most times, the relationship you need may not necessarily come in the form of what you want. When you find the right person, they can help you to feel more connected, supported, loved, and even more free.
I hear far too many times about the concern of having to be committed to someone else. This thought can be limiting. When you are committed to anything in life, goodness can and will ensue. Commitment is a complimentary gift to freedom.
If you’re scared of getting into a relationship, try to remember the potential benefits. With the right person by your side, you can overcome your biggest fears, and tackle the worries you so need to confront.
Take note that it is extremely common for people to be afraid of getting into a relationship and, or even being hesitant of having to deal with another person beyond themselves. After all, we get it – it can be a daunting prospect. But I bet you may be asking, what are the reasons why people are scared? I have compiled a list of the twelve most common reasons people are afraid to get into a relationship. Let’s dive into this!
1. Fear of getting hurt
People are afraid because they have been hurt in the past. They may have had their heart broken or been betrayed by someone they trusted. As a result, the risk of hurt outweighs the possibility of positivity. Many may believe it is much easier to remain single than to put themselves in a position where they could be hurt again.
If we’re never willing to take the risk, we’ll never know what could have been.
2. Loss of freedom
Many of us value our freedom and independence, and we’re scared that a relationship will somehow take that away from us. Nope! We might have to compromise on things or make some sacrifices, but that doesn’t mean we have to give up who we are. You should only be improving upon who you are! You can absolutely still be your own person within a relationship, and you should become even better!
3. Fear of rejection
No one likes to feel like they’re not good enough, and that’s a big subconscious fear that holds some of us back from getting into a relationship. We don’t want to put ourselves out there only to be told that we’re not what the other person is looking for. But who cares? Go into it feeling like you are the best. Worst case the other person doesn’t feel the same way, but please believe someone else will – and that someone could be your perfect match!
4. Afraid of being alone
This one is closely related to the fear of rejection. We might worry that we’re not good enough for anyone, or we may have experienced loss in the past so we anticipate more loss resulting in the fear of up alone. This may not be your future, and wouldn’t you prefer to live it up in the present and worry about the future later? Live your best life now!
5. Afraid of commitment
Commitment can be a scary thing, especially if we’re not sure we’re ready for it. I’ve been hearing lately, more often than not, that we are never really ready for anything until it happens. I bet you are much more capable of handling many more things than you could ever anticipate so, take the leap. Commit and be great with your love!
6. Afraid of compromise
We all want things our way, and relationships require us to compromise. We might not like the idea of having to give up some ways of doing things. The goal in life is to constantly grow and evolve. When you do that, intimacy increases. Compromise is much easier, and the value of compatibility is all worth the little bit of compromise you will be making!
7. Afraid of change
My saying – growth is constant, but change is inevitable. I think there is a sense of control that we believe that we have in life – the truth is practically everything is out of our control. When it comes to relationships, the changes made, when in a great relationship are the changes that will impact your life positively. Think about it! Excitement is waiting.
8. Afraid of disappointment
We all want to find that perfect partner, but the reality is that no one is perfect. We’re all flawed and we all make mistakes. If we go into a relationship with the expectation that our partner will be perfect, we’re likely to be disappointed, because you have GOT TO BE REAL. If we’re able to accept our partners for who they are, flaws and all, we’re more likely to have an enjoyable and even laughter-filled happy, and healthy relationship.
9. Afraid of being judged
All of us want to be accepted for who we are, and many of us are afraid that we won’t be accepted by our partners. We might worry that they will judge us for who we are, they might not like our hobbies, our friends, or even the way we look, and that they won’t want to stick around. But if we can be authentic, confident, and open in our relationship, we have nothing to fear because the uniqueness that is you is what will be loved like no other.
10. Afraid of being vulnerable
Many of us put up walls to protect ourselves from getting hurt, but those walls can also keep us from being truly happy. Protective mechanisms are understandable, but they are not conducive to living the best life I so know you deserve! When we’re in a relationship, we have to be willing to let down our guard and be vulnerable. There really is strength in being vulnerable. In sharing your experiences as a child, your embarrassing moments, and your soul. That is how you truly, and undoubtedly connect to another. It will be uncomfortable, it will require some dedication, but it will be meaningful – promise.
11. Afraid of not being good enough
This is a fear that many of us deal with in different areas of our lives, and it can also be fear when it comes to relationships. We might worry that we’re not smart enough, pretty enough, or successful enough for the other person. But the reality is that we are all worthy of love, no matter what our accomplishments are. And last time I checked, you are the bomb.com!!
12. Afraid of the unknown
The unknown in life, can for real give you anxiety. Trying to predict and prepare for the worst seems like it gives you control, but the truth is, it just causes more anxiety. None of us know what will happen in a relationship, and so we’re scared to take the leap to find out. We would rather sit on the sidelines of our lives and hope for the best. Nope – you my friend must live and in order to live, you have to leap. Into the unknown. Embrace it just see what happens. Either way, you can make it through!
Few tips to help you overcome your fear of commitment in relationships
We listed plenty of reasons why someone might be afraid to get into a relationship. If you’re unsure about whether or not you’re ready for a relationship, it’s important to take your time and figure out what you want. Make a list. Date around. Listen to your friend’s love life stories and relish in the understanding of knowing what you DO NOT want! Learning what’s right for you comes from experience. So experience more! And once you find someone who likes you as much as you like them, then it’s time to go for it! Be honest, be open, and don’t let your fear of commitment hold you back.
Here are some tips on how to overcome the above issues.
Talk to a trusted person
Talk to a trusted friend or family member about your fears. This can help you to understand your fears and to figure out how to deal with them.
Identify your main fear
What is it that you’re really afraid of? Once you know what it is, you can start to work on addressing it. This can help you to focus on overcoming them.
Challenge your fears
Ask yourself why you’re afraid and whether there’s any rational basis for that fear. Visualize yourself in a successful relationship. Think about what a successful relationship looks like. This can help you to see that it’s possible and to give you the motivation to make it happen.
Take small steps
If you’re scared of commitment, start with dating someone casually. If you’re afraid of being vulnerable, share something small about yourself with the other person. Taking small steps can help you gradually overcome your fears.
Challenge your beliefs
Are your fears rational? Are they based on past experiences? If not, try to let go of them with some meditation, a talk with a trusted friend or family member, and most importantly, give yourself a chance.
Seek professional help (if needed)
If your fears are preventing you from enjoying life or from finding happiness and causing you a lot of distress, consider seeking help from a therapist or counselor. They can help you to understand your fears and work on overcoming them. When you find a therapist compatible with your needs, therapy rocks my friends!
If these suggestions sparked a desire in you to find the right one, then let us know by visiting Couples Experience CE Circle to stay in the know on upcoming couples events, couples retreats, and date night ideas. Experience more today! Also, be sure to follow us on Instagram.
Do you have any other tips to share on how someone can overcome their fear of commitment in relationships? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
