Although, now, we may feel much older and wiser, things weren’t always that way. When I was younger, I was stubborn at times, and I rarely wanted to listen to advice. When my mother told me the signs to look for in a relationship, in order to determine whether it would last, I ignored her. “If your partner does any of these things,” she said, “it’s time to end the relationship.” Looking back, I realize her advice could stand the test of time, but then the love I was feeling trumped anything she could have ever said, so in turn, the red flags and signs telling me that my relationship was in trouble had no bearing on my life.
If only I would have listened, maybe things would have turned out differently. I bet you are asking, so what are these signs? What can you look for to determine whether your relationship is headed for disaster?
In this article, I will discuss the 10 most important signs that your relationship is in trouble. If you see any of these signs, it’s time to have a serious talk with your partner.
1. You’re Not Honest With Each Other
Honesty is one of the most important aspects of any relationship. If you can’t be honest with your partner, then the relationship is doomed to fail. Why? Because without honesty, there can be no trust. And without trust, a relationship cannot survive.
So if you’re not honest with your partner, you need to start being honest right away. It won’t be easy, but it’s essential if you want your relationship to last. Be truthful about how you feel and what you want from the relationship.
2. You Always Have To Be Right
It’s perfectly understandable to want to be right in your relationships. After all, you don’t want the people you care about to feel like they’re wrong, do you? But if your need to be right becomes all-consuming, it can actually end up damaging your relationships.
Here are four ways that always needing to be right can hurt your relationships.
A. It can make you seem arrogant.
If you’re always needing to be right, you come across as arrogant and like you think you’re better than everyone else. This is obviously not a good way to endear yourself to others!
B. It can make you seem inflexible.
When you’re always needing to be right, you seem inflexible and unwilling to budge on anything. This can make it difficult to find common ground with others and can lead to arguments and conflict.
C. It can make you seem bossy.
Trying to always be right can also turn you into a bit of a control freak. If you’re always needing to have the last word or be in charge, you come across as bossy and irritating.
D. It can make you seem closed-minded.
If you’re constantly clinging to your beliefs and refusing to consider other points of view, you seem close-minded and unwilling to learn. This isn’t an attractive quality in a partner or friend.
So if you find yourself always needing to be right, take a step back and try to see things from other people’s perspectives. It can help you build stronger, more harmonious relationships, not to mention, you will learn some things!
Must Read: How To Turn Your Breakup Into A New Beginning
3. Little or No Communication
If you’re not communicating with your partner, then there’s a good chance that your relationship is in trouble. Why? Because communication is essential for any relationship to thrive. Without communication, partners can’t understand each other, and they can’t build a foundation of trust.
If you’re not talking to your partner about your day, your dreams, your goals for the future, your likes, dislikes, “all the things” then there is a real issue here. You should access why you aren’t having small talk or even pillow talk with your partner. It should be easy and enjoyable to communicate and discuss your thoughts with your loved one.
Remember, communication is the key to a healthy relationship, so make sure you’re using it to its fullest potential.
4. You’re No Longer Attracted to Each Other
It’s perfectly normal to lose some of your initial attraction to your partner over time. In fact, as we get to know someone better, we often find new things to like about them.
But if you’ve been together for a long time and you suddenly stop finding your partner attractive, that’s a sign that something is wrong.
It could mean that you’ve lost interest in them romantically, or it could be a sign that the relationship has become stale. Or you are becoming the vain person you thought you would never be. Either way, consider the reason why, and thoroughly so you can make necessary adjustments or respectfully communicate to your other half your concerns.
5. You’re Constantly Fighting
It’s no secret that fighting can ruin a relationship. When you’re constantly at odds with your partner, the relationship is bound to suffer. And if the fighting continues for too long, it may even lead to a breakup. Disagreements and small tips with solutions can be acceptable, but not when they are often and tire you both out.
Why do so many couples fight? Well, there are many reasons, but one of the most common is that they simply don’t know how to communicate effectively.
If you and your partner are constantly fighting, it’s important to take a step back and examine the situation. Are you communicating clearly? Are you both on the same page? If not, then it’s time to work on these things.
6. You’re Not Connecting on an Emotional Level
In any relationship, it’s important to connect with your partner on an emotional level. This is what creates intimacy and closeness. Without it, relationships can become cold and distant.
If you feel like you’re not connecting with your partner emotionally, it’s important to address the issue. Connecting emotionally means you are able to express yourself. Your real thoughts. Your fears. Your setbacks. Your mistakes and the things that you may not want everyone in the world to know. Your relationship should be a safe haven for you to break down the depths of who you are.
7. Excessive Jealousy
Friend, excessive jealousy is one of the biggest killers of relationships. It can poison your relationship with suspicion and distrust, leading to arguments and fights, and ultimately causing a breakup.
Here’s why you should avoid being excessively jealous in your relationship.
- Jealousy destroys trust: If you’re always worried that your partner is going to cheat on you or leave you, or not have your best interest at heart at any given time, this my friend will cause you to be paralyzed with fear. So much so that you are unable to enjoy the relationship.
- Jealousy creates tension and conflict: Jealousy is a very negative emotion, and it will poison your relationship if left unchecked. Jealousy never comes from a place of harmony. Typically, something is not in balance and the underlying issue needs to be addressed, not just the action.
- Jealousy makes you insecure: When you’re always questioning your partner’s motives, it eats away at your self-confidence and limits the potential for greatness in the relationship.
- Jealousy breeds resentment: If your partner feels like they’re constantly being scrutinized, they’re going to start resenting you – and rightfully so! Pretty sure you aren’t eager to be scrutinized on a daily either.
- Jealousy leads to paranoia: Once jealousy takes hold, it can quickly spiral out of control until you become convinced that everyone is out to get you. This situation is not enlightening nor does it encapture a positive experience in your day-to-day life.
- Jealousy ruins intimacy: You know that giddy feeling and that real vibe of connection that is so encapsulating? That’s intimacy. Intimacy requires trust, openness, and vulnerability – all of which are destroyed by jealousy.
- Jealousy can cause depression: Excessive jealousy often leads to depression as well as anxiety disorders. Jealousy overall is just not worth it. My advice, if you can, simply avoid it.
8. You Don’t Have Sex Anymore
Having incredible, world-rocking sex is an important part of most relationships, so if you and your partner suddenly stop having sex, it’s a sign that something is wrong. Every time may not be its absolute best, but it shouldn’t feel like an agonizing chore. Sex is a great way to express your partnership and love so if you no longer want to do it, ask yourself, why not?
9. Unequal Spending of Money and Time on Common Needs
We’ve all heard it before, finances in relationships can be the cause of much turmoil. In some cases, it’s deemed normal for couples to have some disagreements about money. After all, it’s one of the most important things in a relationship! But if you and your partner are constantly fighting about how to spend your money, it’s a sign that you are not on the same page! Here are four consequences of unequal spending of money and time on common needs.
- It creates financial stress: If you’re always worried about money, it’s going to put a lot of strain on your relationship. How can you focus on one another when money is causing consternation.
- It can lead to arguments and fights: Disagreements about money are one of the most common causes of arguments in relationships, and let’s be real, WHO REALLY WANTS TO ARGUE ABOUT MONEY?? Nip it in the bud. Get to the core of the headache and make an effort to eliminate TOGETHER.
- It can cause resentment: If you feel like your partner is always spending more money than you, it’s a natural reaction to begin to question, and ultimately resent them for doing something that you don’t agree with. Talk it out, ya’ll!
- It can damage your relationship: If you’re not careful, unequal spending of money and time on common needs can slowly damage your relationship because someone is not going to be satisfied. Dissatisfaction leads to a host of other unsatisfactory themes in a relationship. No, thank you, right?
10. Different Values & Beliefs
When two people are in a relationship, they must share the same values and beliefs OR they must respect one another’s values and beliefs OR both! Otherwise, there will be a lot of conflict and tension that is unsolvable. I think over time though, there is an opportunity to communicate effectively enough to produce understanding.
Here are four examples of different values and beliefs that can cause problems in a relationship.
- Different political beliefs: If you and your partner don’t see eye to eye on politics, it can be a big source of conflict, especially nowadays.
- Different religious beliefs: If you’re from different religious backgrounds, it’s important to respect each other’s beliefs. However, this can sometimes be difficult if you have different views on things like premarital sex, abortion, children, etc.
- Different views on family: If you want kids and your partner doesn’t (or vice versa), this could cause some serious frustration in the relationship.
- Different views on money: If you’re a spender and your partner is a saver, you’re going to have to find a compromise that works for both of you.
A Pleasant Relationship Is a Pleasant Life
While not all of these signs may be indicative of an impending breakup, if you notice a few (or more) of them happening in your relationship, it might be time to start thinking about whether or not you are compatible and if you are willing to work through and compromise through the issues. If you’re feeling doubtful, don’t be afraid to reach out to a trusted friend or family member for some outside perspective, or consult a therapist too. I’m an avid believer in a good therapy sessions on a regular.
Join the Couples Experience CE Circle today to stay in the know on upcoming couple events, couple retreats, and date night ideas. Experience more today!
We hope you’ve enjoyed this article and would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!
