When you ask many individuals what kind of person they want to be with in a relationship, they will give you an endless checklist. A kind partner who is financially thriving, honest, mature, loving, can grill (maybe that was on my list – haha!) – the point is, the list can be endless, but the truth is many times, what we ask for, you do not possess.
To attract a person of love, respect, appreciation, understanding, commitment, trust, etc., you must own those traits first.
The law of attraction states that “like attracts like.” Some people want an intelligent, thoughtful, and focused partner, but they do not possess these qualities.
So the truth is, it’s time to look at self and evaluate how you can first improve yourself and begin to possess the energy and traits that will attract exactly what you want.
How do you attract a partner with similar values?
Having different ideas or values from your partner can strengthen or weaken your relationship. It really all depends on how much you would like to make something work before you give up, throw in the towel and walk away. It’s important to have balance in a relationship and to determine what your deal breakers are. You will never agree on everything, and honestly, who really wants to. It’s important to be challenged in a healthy relationship. To evolve in your own thinking and to align yourself to one another’s differences, leading to acceptance.
Here are a few tips on how attracting your partner leads to a fulfilling relationship or, let’s say, happily ever after.’
Do not force things
It’s okay for your partner not to love something you like, and it’s okay for you not to like what they like, too. The best thing to do when a heated argument is potentially upon you is to ask a question. What is it that is really bothering you and what can I do to change that?
Here, as you begin to learn the “why” behind their feelings of frustration, a new era of understanding will come upon you. You may just find it interesting and learn one or two things from each other and see them in a positive light rather than ignoring or paying a deaf ear to their feelings and beliefs.
And please know…the initial habit of being calm during a disagreement takes some time to discover. It may take a while to get there, but friends, with some work and some empathy, you will get there. We did!
Know your boundaries
No relationship is perfect, and the truth is, you must deal with every argument, and not just try to ignore it. You have got to try to find some common ground to understand each other instead of giving your partner attitude, and eventually, you may end up laughing at yourselves when a fight is upon you!
Stay committed to being open and honest, speaking calmly, and making them see where the mistake or misunderstanding is coming from instead of walking away and screaming at each other.
“I want our relationship to be like my friend’s relationship.”
Don’t do that. Comparison is such a relationship sabotage and thief of joy.
Sometimes, we want our partner to think like we do or we create an image in our mind about how things should be. That’s not how life works nor does it provide an interesting life!
The best part about relationships is the growth. Instead of comparing yourself to someone else’s relationship, why don’t you look for a way to spice things up or ask your partner what you think you can do better together?
How can you attract individuals who communicate effectively?
“Communication is important because it fosters trust and connection,” explains Shelley Sommerfeldt, PsyD, a clinical psychologist specializing in relationships. “To have an open, honest, and vulnerable relationship with our partner, we must communicate healthily freely.”
Communication helps to properly understand what you want and how to work together to build a more robust agreement. Here are a few ways you can attract your partner and have heart-to-heart and honest communication;
- Learn to be calm and process emotions that could lead to heated arguments for you or your partner.
- Learn to speak up when your partner offends you. Don’t sweep anything under the rug.
- Talk to your partner about your day, engage over the simple things, and consider leaving one another kind notes to enhance your connection.
- Send your partner thoughtful and simple gifts when they least expect it.
- Inquire about what your partner is going through. Listen. Learn. And be present.
- Have individual activities that you can do to maintain your independence. That alone will give you more value.
In pursuit of finding that partner you desire so much and are attracted to, you should know that you must seek mutual growth and support from one another to enjoy your relationship the way you picture it to be.
There are ways you can go about it, and here’s how:
- Appreciate yourselves for holding onto one another, loving one another and being there to keep eachother calm as you are faced with challenges.
- Be interested in each other’s goals and hold yourselves accountable. Share tips and resources that can help each other grow.
- Offer encouragement when the other is going through a phase or is working on a project and celebrate milestones.
- Show up for them and make them feel loved and special.
Conclusion
You aren’t perfect. No relationship is perfect, and no partner is perfect. Listing the qualities you wish your partner possesses is excellent, but you must ensure whatever you want and desire from another you are matching that energy with the same traits and characteristics.
If you want a wealthy partner, you must also be sure you are rich. Do you wish to go into a relationship with a kind person? Be kind. Everything you wish for is available, but be sure to be someone you would want to end up with.
The goal is to have a healthy relationship, don’t compare yourself to other couples, set boundaries, and be open to communicating maturely and be kind with intentioned happiness.Take the quality relationship masterclass to become a better leader, colleague, and person in all of your relationships. Also, don’t forget to follow Tamika on Instagram for relationships, life, and love!
