Open communication is what makes a relationship thrive. But if depression is also part of that relationship, communication becomes difficult and sometimes even impossible. If things are left unspoken and as time passes, partners find it harder and harder to express their feelings honestly and openly. They may even start to feel lonely and isolated and sometimes even misunderstood.
That begs the question: what could you possibly say and not make things worse? Would it be better to avoid your partner until the situation gets better? Definitely not! Instead, find a way to make your partner feel desired again, all so you can pull them away from their isolation.
To help you out, we have prepared a list of communication strategies for couples dealing with depression. While it won’t be easy, by following our tips, you can support your partner and reclaim confidence in your relationship!
What is depression?
Depression is a widespread, serious medical condition that affects people’s emotions, thoughts, and behavior and has the power to cause extreme sadness. It can even make you lose interest in everything you once enjoyed!
Unfortunately, according to the World Health Organization, around 280 million people worldwide struggle with depression, and it is fifty percent more likely for women to suffer from it.
Therefore, if you, your partner, or both of you suffer from depression, you are not alone.
However, depression can be treated, and your relationship can thrive despite it. But, to do so, you must find the courage to speak about it openly and find the support you need in each other.
Communication strategies for couples dealing with depression
If your partner is dealing with depression, talking to them about it will be hard. But it’s really important you do so, as that’s the only way your relationship can survive. That said, coming your way are strategies that can help you communicate but, more importantly, understand each other. Adopt them, and you’ll be able to assist them in the best possible way!
Be patient and understanding
You cannot force someone to talk about something if they aren’t feeling like it. So, if your partner happens to be secretive about their depression, so be it; be patient and wait for them to start opening up.
Of course, if you’ve noticed the signs and waited for a while for them to tell you what’s bothering them, but nothing has happened, you can (and should) certainly try to approach them, but do it gently!
Explain you have seen they are going through a hard time and that you are there for them.
If they are not ready for this conversation, don’t insist. Simply remind them that you will be there to listen whenever they need to talk. That should provide enough reassurance and instill a little (but none less important) confidence in them.
Validate feelings and be empathetic
Expressing your feelings takes a lot of courage and vulnerability. Therefore, once your partner decides to talk to you about their problems, validate their feelings and be compassionate.
Keep in mind that you should never try to point out the “positives” of their situation! Yes, positivity does often typically make things better. This is not always the case when you are dealing with a partner who suffers from depression, however. In their situation, it can only make them feel as if their feelings are dismissed or undervalued.
What you should do, instead, is empathize with them and explain you are merely trying to understand what they are going through. Your words won’t cure their depression. But they can help them regain hope. Besides, it’s much easier to believe everything will be alright if someone understands where you are coming from.
Respect boundaries and don’t try to “fix the problem”
Setting up and respecting boundaries is the stepping stone in any relationship, whether we are talking about a friendship or a romantic relationship. We all have different views regarding autonomy and what feels comfortable in these relationships. Thus, it’s even more important to be understanding and honoring your partner’s boundaries when it comes to communicating about anything, really, but especially depression!
If your partner agrees to discuss some of their problems, never offer to fix them. In truth, providing support in solving the problem is much more helpful. You can make all the difference by just listening to your partner’s concerns and offering encouragement.
By doing this, you are showing that you care, and, at the same time, you are empowering them to find the solution to their problems.
Always be honest
One of the best strategies that can help couples dealing with depression to communicate efficiently is to be honest. Always!
So, be honest if your partner tries to talk to you about their problems, and maybe you can’t relate to them or understand the situation in its entirety. That is ok.
Saying that you understand something just to offer comfort will never solve the problem. In truth, it can aggravate it. It is much better to say that you can’t imagine the difficulties they are going through, but you are glad they chose you to talk about them. That can be your conversation’s icebreaker, and always reassure your partner that they will only receive honesty whenever they speak to you.
Create the perfect setting for your conversation
Whenever you need to talk to your partner, create a safe and comfortable setting for your conversation. You can choose a quiet and peaceful room in your home where you feel most at ease. If you have kids and finding peace at home can be difficult, look for places you both like outside your home. This can be your favorite coffee shop during a less crowded time or that spot at the beach you both like to go to when you need to relax.
Whatever place you choose, just make sure both of you can participate in the discussion without any sort of interruption. That way, you’ll set the tone for a productive conversation where the two of you can express your feelings and listen – really – to what the other party has to say.
Encourage specialized treatment for depression
It will absolutely not be easy to convince your partner that treatment is the only way out of the difficult time they are in. So, as you approach this airy subject, show genuine care and respect for their feelings.
To inspire your partner to seek treatment, you can share your concerns and express your desire to help them. When they agree to get treatment, research the best options together and reassure them you will accompany them to their appointments if need be.
Depending on the severity of your partner’s symptoms, simply going to appointments might not be enough. In some cases, medication is helpful.
It’s also possible their mental state will require them to stay at a mental facility for some time.
Those who reside in Washington State have long sought comfort in the prestigious mental health treatment center, We Level Up Washington. If you, too, live here or near the area, it might be the right place to consider as an option for recovery.
Strengthen your bonds in the face of depression
While living with depression or having a partner who suffers from it can make communication in your relationship suffer at times, there is always a way to make things work.
Healthy communication within couples dealing with depression is possible as long as you use the right strategies. Be honest and understanding, validate your partner’s feelings, and always respect their boundaries.
And if and when the time is right, discuss treatment options and the importance of receiving treatment.
The truth is you can overcome depression, and you can strengthen your bond with yourself and your partner, but only by working together.
The goal is to have a healthy relationship, not compare yourself to other couples, set boundaries, be open to communicating maturely, and be kind with intentioned happiness. Take the quality relationship masterclass to become a better leader, colleague, and person in all of your relationships. Also, don’t forget to follow Tamika on Instagram for relationships, life, and love!
